To Have a sleep-over or to Not have a sleep-over...that is the question.
Jason and I have been thinking about this over the last few years. Should we continue to let our kids have sleep-overs or should we make a new family rule about no sleep-overs??? I know they can be a lot of fun, but I also know that a lot of bad choices can be made at these late parties. I know some families do "late-overs", so the kids still get to hang out, have lots of fun, but then go home to their own beds and families. We're starting to lean in that direction. It makes Rylee and Taylee really nervous, but it just seems like the best thing to do.
One of the reasons this came up in our conversation again, was an adult fireside that Tim and Karen (bro & sis-inlaw)went to in their stake. It was a parenting fireside. It was clearly stated from their stake presidency that they felt strongly that they should NOT allow their children to participate in sleep-overs. Is what's good for their stake, good for ours too???
This weekend, both of our older girls had a friend over, for the night. I think it may have been a reaction to over-hearing our recent conversation. They thought they'd better get one in before we had made up our minds completely. ---I forsee a family council/FHE in our near future about this topic. Wish me luck. :o)
Charity & Rylee 
Kaisha & Taylee 
What do you think???
16 comments:
That's a tough, and personal decision. Jered and I decided not to do sleep-over's with friends, but it is okay with cousins. We will allow late nights with friends though. We haven't had to worry about it yet...Echo is only 6. But we are prepared when the time comes.
Good Luck!
It looks like your girls had fun with their friends!
Wow, Good luck with that - such a tough choice to make and stick with. (I'm glad I don't have to make/enforce the choice for sure yet...but it's coming soon, I guess)
I think the "late-over" idea is a great idea though. It extends curfew for that night...but everyone still goes home and stays with their own families, like you said.
Good luck!!
When my friend was a teen, she experienced some abuse by her friend's father while at a sleepover. She has a strict no sleepover rule for her kids, obviously. Better safe than sorry, for sure.
We have limited it to cousins for our family as well.
Alisha, we don't allow sleep-overs (except with family) because 2 or 3 years ago YOU told me that's what YOU do and I do everything YOU say because I think YOU are a fabulous mommy and I don't have a clue! Seriously....:)
Candice,
Really??? I said that??? Could it have been a conversation of something I was thinking about doing? We've allowed sleep-overs since our girls were old enough to ask for them.
I'm finding that a lot of families have a NO sleep-over rule. I may become one of those families very soon. :o)
Thanks for the "fabulous mommy" comment...you are so kind. And don't kid yourself...you've got more than a clue..you are also a fabulous mommy. I love the way you play with your kids and enjoy them so much. That's something I definitely need to work on.
Ugh! This is one of those things I wish weren't an issue. Aren't sleep-overs so much fun?!! That being said we don't allow sleep-overs period. There are many, many people that I totally trust with my children and would gladly let my kids attend sleep-overs with, but it is easier to just say that we never allow it. That removes the possibility for arguing and begging, and I also don't have to explain why I would say yes to some people and no to others.
I never had a bad experience at a sleep-over, and I always had fun, but everything is getting worse and when it comes to our children, I think we all can agree that it's better to be safe. There are already so many things we can't protect our kids from, but this we can.
When I think about growing up I think of sleepover. My favorite memories as a kid are my sleepovers. I LOVED to have sleepovers. I had so much fun and cant imagine not having all those fun memories. BUT I have to say we dont do sleepover... well, only with cousins. I think I dont feel so baad because my kids have so much fun with cousins and are very close to them. Emma is just starting to really bring it up b/c all her friends do but I am holding strong. Good luck.
Ok. So in 9th grade I would have sleepovers at my friend Julies house and we would play with a weegie board. Like 3 or 4 times. But I have to say I had no idea how bad they were. We just asked questions if boys liked us and just laughed the whole time. One time a girl brought beer in a baby bottle. Scary. What was I thinking.
OK. One more. My mom wouldnt let me go to a sleepover one time to a girls house in my ward. I later found out all the girls went skinny dipping. My friend said she looked up and my b-day girls dad was staring out the window at all of them. Huh. He gave me the creeps at church from then on. Ok So I was raised in Southern California.
I was a real pill when my parents made this decision...of course I was 16 and quite used to having sleepovers at the time but if they have friends whose parents have made the same decision and there are other options like the "Late Overs" I think they'll adjust to it.
We weren't allowed to GO to a sleepover, but we were allowed to have friends sleep over at our house, so maybe that's an okay compromise. Of course, then you might have to explain to some offended parents why they aren't allowed to sleep at their house too, so maybe a no sleep-over rule period is the way to go. I hope that made sense. :)
We do late-nights, but no sleep overs unless it is with cousins. I remember my older brother (3 years older) having sleepovers, and I would be the "obnoxious" sister and hang out with them and fall asleep by them. I don't think anyone thought anything of it at the time, but I think about that now and think of the potential problems that could have caused. Also, even when it's with cousins, there needs to be strong supervision. I know of some serious problems that have occurred between cousins as well.
My kids think I'm mean to not allow sleepovers, but I just take that as a compliment! It does make it easier that more and more of their friends aren't allowed to have sleepovers either. However, late nights are great!
Our girls have had so much fun having sleep overs and I feel completely safe, with Blayke at your house. I am picky about where she stays the night, Rylee is one of the very few. She doesn't seem to question my decision on where she can stay. I try to listen to any promptings I have, but of course I'm not perfect. If it becomes your family rule can Blayke have cousin status? Just kidding. We would totally support you. Late overs are convenient that you don't have to worry about what time the kid leaves the next day if you have a busy schedule
that's tricky. Keith and I have already had this discussion but aren't sure what we'll do, good thing we have some years until we have to decide! I like the late-over idea.
Ty and Cozett went to that smae fireside. I always thought I would because we always had them growing up they are some of my best memories. But since I have two genders of children, that made me a little reluctant, and then I realized none of my kids friends will be able to come so I don't have to make the choice.
I just have to chime in on this. I loved sleepovers! Jason was never interested in sleeping anywhere but his own bed (and still feels this way :) ). Years ago when the subject came up he was against sleep overs and I wasn't. I said I would go along with him if he would enforce the rule (I didn't want to deal with the fits). Then before our kids were really old enough to even do sleep overs we met Julie Sturgill. After a few conversations with her (if you recall she is the juvenile county prosecutor in Twin) I am totally on board with the no sleep over rule. In recent years I found out about some terrible things that happened to friends (back when we were kids) at sleep overs and I am so glad we have made this decision. We do late overs and it's a big privilege because I am a stickler about bed time but at a late over I will come get them when the kids are ready for bed and it's usually WAY past their bed times. I say JOIN THIS CROWD Alisha! I know your kids will be bummed but you will have peace of mind.
Oh, we would probably allow cousin sleepovers but we don't live near any so haven't had to worry about it.
Good Luck with your decision!
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